F avoritism at work
Favoritism happens. Let’s be real.
Favoritism at work is more common than we think. It’s not always about race or religion—those would be serious issues. But a lot of times, it’s more subtle: your manager might give someone better tasks, praise them more often in front of others, or just naturally click with them.
And honestly? That’s human. We’re not working with robots. If your tech lead happens to enjoy running and one of your teammates runs marathons too, of course they’re going to bond. Maybe they chat more during breaks or go to running events together. That doesn’t mean there’s bad intent—but it can still affect how work is distributed.
When it feels unfair
Let’s say you’ve been fixing bugs, improving test coverage, and handling support tickets. Meanwhile, someone else—who happens to share a hobby or vibe with your manager—keeps getting the “fun” or “core” tasks, like building new features, leading architecture revamps, or presenting in sprint demos.
They also often get praised during standups or retros. Not because their work is always better—but because they’re more visible. Over time, it feels like they’re growing faster, getting better exposure, and maybe even being seen as “promotion material.”
That’s when favoritism starts hurting motivation. You wonder, “Am I being overlooked because I just focus on getting work done?”
What you can do
If you do share an interest with your lead—like running, gaming, or open-source—feel free to talk about it. No need to force it, but small connections help build rapport.
But if you’re someone who just wants to code, ship, and go home, that’s fine too. Focus on doing great work. Be reliable. Deliver with quality. Over time, your consistency becomes hard to ignore—even for someone who didn’t “click” with you right away.
It’s also okay to ask for clarity. A simple “I’d love to get involved in bigger features too—anything I can improve on?” can open up the conversation.
If you’re the leader
If someone in your team brings up favoritism—even casually—take it seriously. It might not be about malice. But your job isn’t just to build products—it’s to build trust.
Yes, it’s natural to have someone you rely on. Maybe they’re fast, or they just “get” what you mean. That’s okay. But if others feel left out, that’s your signal to step up.
Distribute opportunities fairly. Rotate core tasks. Give everyone visibility, not just the ones you vibe with. Praise all contributions—not just flashy ones in production. Good leadership means lifting everyone, not just your top pick.
Final thoughts
Favoritism isn’t always obvious. But in engineering teams, it shows up in how tasks are assigned, who gets credit, and who gets to grow. Whether you’re a team member or a lead, be aware of how it shows—and how to handle it with fairness, empathy, and professionalism.
Stay consistent. Keep learning. And if you lead, lead with intention.